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The Holding

You held my nervous hand as we first saw their tapping heartbeats on the blinking ultrasound screen and we both fell deep, without a choice - reeled in. Forever bound.

You were there, holding my head and kissing my happy tears as we heard their first confused-lung-cries and you were first to bring them close - held skin to skin. The two missing pieces to our life-puzzle found.

I saw you change from boy to man as you embraced our future in your hands and left the past in a moment’s breath; I held mine as I witnessed how immense your love could grow, and I thought I already knew.

I spend my time weaving words and looping prose and am now absent the threads I need to connect the millions of heart-thoughts together. I cannot seem to find the right textures that will lend understanding to all I feel, to lift up the weight it holds. So I will stop the striving and just offer the two words as precious and winged as our two children; thank you.

Thank you for holding us safe in life’s riptide and for floating with us in the peaceful still water. Thank you for never dropping your arms and giving up even though it isn’t always easy or light or fun and sometimes feels impossible.

And mostly, for holding our Heavenly Father’s hand through it all - finding your strength and sure footing, and leading us through by holding on and holding us well.

Happy Father’s Day Honey

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